The Xmen Present: The Little Mermaid
by Chellerbelle
Summary: The story of The Little Mermaid, X-men style. Includes cast and narrator commentary. Just for laughs.


**AN: **An "unknown" reviewer of _Cinderella_ requested this. I hope you like it!

* * *

There was once a Kingdom under the sea, ruled by King Logan.

* * *

**Waits for it...**

Professor Xavier just sighed.

"What?" asked Mystique. "You're not going to whine about how you're not the king again?"

"It really is most pathetic," Magneto nodded.

"What? A guys can't regress to his childhood once in a while?" the Professor asked.

"Regressing... is that what you call it?"

The Professor nodded.

"Yes," he confirmed. "I always get written as this mature older gentleman. And here we are, putting on fairy tales and people wonder why I want to enjoy a second childhood."

"Well, if your childhood involved behaving like a spoiled brat..."

"Both my parents died, I had an abusive step-father and got bullied by my step-brother."

"Oh."

* * *

King Logan had seven daughters; Jean, Kitty, Jubilee, Amara, Tabitha, Wanda and Rogue.

* * *

"I wanted to be the Sea Witch," Wanda said with a sigh.

**I know. Sorry to disappoint you, Wanda, but it was time to give someone else a turn.**

* * *

Rogue, the youngest, was known best for her beautiful voice.

* * *

"Roguey does have the most exquisite voice," Gambit nodded. "Of course, every part of her is exquisite, so I wouldn't expect any less."

* * *

King Logan hated humans. Mostly because of their fondness for what they called 'sea food'. As a result, he forbade his subjects from going up to the surface. However, his curious, will-strong daughter Rogue loved to sneak up to the surface, and go through the wrecks of ships that had sunk to the ocean floor.

Rogue's best friend was a fish named Kurt.

* * *

"I'm a fish," Kurt said.

**Yes, yes you are.**

"Hey maybe Wanda should have been the fish," Gambit said with a grin. "Then we would have had a fish called Wanda."

"That's not funny," Wanda said.

* * *

When Rogue and Kurt found things of interest in the ruined ships, they would swim up to the surface to visit their friend seagull, Warren, to have him explain what they were.

* * *

"I'm a seagull," Warren said.

**Yep.**

"A seagull."

**We've established that.**

"Well," Rogue said, trying to hide a smile. "You do have white feathery wings."

"I think I've just been insulted."

* * *

After being fed misleading information from Warren, Rogue and Kurt would visit the cave where Rogue kept all her human treasures.

And so it happened on this particular day that Rogue spotted a ship sailing overhead. Her curiousity drew her to it and she swam to the surface to check it out.

"Oooh," said Kurt. "It's a ship that hasn't been sunk. Haven't seen one of those before."

Rogue laughed.

"I'm gonna climb on board," she told him.

"Careful! Don't let the humans see you. You know what King Logan said," Kurt said worriedly.

* * *

"Umm, Chellerbelle?"

**Yes Kitty?**

"What happened to Sebastian?"

**I'm sorry, am I the only one who thinks it's weird that a crab composer was reassigned from composing music to baby sit? Besides I couldn't decide on who to play him.**

* * *

"Psh, whatever," Rogue dismissed.

She found a handhold and hauled herself up the side of the ship. It was very awkward moving outside of the water, and she missed the buoyancy it granted her.

Rogue spied on deck and watched the sailors at work. Amongst the sailors was a handsome young man playing a pipe. He was quite possibly the most handsomest human she'd ever seen - not that she'd seen very many. Why he was even more handsome than most mermen she knew.

Another man came out of the cabin and called for attention.

"It is now my honour and privilege to present our esteemed Prince Remy with a very special, very expensive, very large birthday present."

"Aww, Pete," Prince Remy grinned at him. "You shouldn't have."

"I know," Pete replied.

* * *

"Hey Piotr," Gambit grinned. "You get to be my butler."

"... Well, that's not really much of a change is it?" Piotr pointed out. "I was always cleaning up for you louts back at Magneto's base. Seriously. How hard is it to put things back where they belong?"

"Oh, sorry mate," Pyro said. "I did offer but everyone voted against me doing any cleaning."

"That's because your idea of cleaning is just to incinerate everything."

"Your point?"

"Including things we need."

"But it's clean, isn't it?"

"Well, there are the leftover ashes to consider."

"Ashes aren't dirt. They're the mark of a job well done."

* * *

The sheet was pulled down from the large object on deck to reveal a statue of Prince Remy.

* * *

"That's all we need. A statue of Remy," Rogue said. "Like his ego isn't inflated enough."

"My ego is the perfect size," Gambit replied. "I can't help it if I really am that awesome."

* * *

Rogue was distracted by the conversation by the signs of a storm coming. It hit suddenly, blowing the ship wildly. Everything happened so fast. Rogue found herself falling off the ship and the next thing she knew it was being torn to pieces on the rocks.

Diligently she searched amongst the wreckage and found Prince Remy as he slipped under the waves. Rogue dived in after him and hauled him back up to the surface, and began the swim to shore.

* * *

"My hero!" Gambit said mischievously.

Rogue laughed.

* * *

Warren met them at the beach where Rogue pulled the prince on shore. She looked anxiously into his face.

"Wakey-wakey," she said.

* * *

"Wakey-wakey?" Rogue repeated.

Well, you have to say something. He needs to recognise your voice later. Did you want to sing a little song?

"Wakey-wakey's fine."

"I think we should make her sing," Kitty giggled.

"Me too," Gambit agreed.

Rogue gave him a dark look.

"Well we did say earlier you have a beautiful voice, cherie," he said innocently.

* * *

_"What would I give  
To live where you are?  
What would I pay  
To stay here beside you?  
What would I do to see you  
Smiling at me?  
Where would we walk?  
Where would we run?  
If we could stay all day in the sun?  
Just you and me  
And I could be  
Part of your world."_ Rogue sang.

* * *

"And now that I've just been mortally embarrassed by the horror of singing a song from a Disney musical..." Rogue muttered.

"Aww, but that was beautiful, cherie," Gambit replied. "See? You do have a great voice."

* * *

As Prince Remy began to stir, Rogue slid back into the water and watched from a distance while he got up. The prince looked around, trying to find the owner of the voice he'd just heard and was interrupted by Pete finding him. Rogue waited until they disappeared from view and went home.

Afterwards, Rogue sisters noticed something very different about her. She was always dancing around, singing to herself and day dreaming. Why, even King Logan noticed that she was happier than usual and decided to investigate.

* * *

"Does Logan's sense of smell work under water?" asked Gambit.

"Does anyone's sense of small work under water?" Rogue countered.

* * *

Meanwhile Kurt the Amazing Teleporting Fish had gotten a surprise for Rogue. He had found the statue of Prince Remy and teleported it to Rogue's cave. With much delight, he showed off his present for his best friend.

* * *

"Kurt the Amazing Teleporting Fish?" Kurt repeated.

**Well, you're known as The Amazing Nightcrawler in the circus. Or... was that the Incredible Nightcrawler... whichever. It's all hype anyway, hehe.  
**

"Y'know, I always wondered how Flounder got that big stone statue in Ariel's cave," Kitty giggled.

* * *

"Kurt, you're the best!" Rogue exclaimed, giving him a hug. "Thank you."

Neither of them noticed King Logan's approach until it was too late.

"What is all this?" he demanded.

"Daddy!" Rogue exclaimed nervously. "It's umm, my collection."

"Your collection."

"Yeah."

"Of human paraphernalia."

"Uhh, yes."

It all went down hill from there.

* * *

"You called Logan 'Daddy'," Jamie giggled.

"It's the second embarrassing thing about this story," Rogue muttered.

* * *

At the peak of their argument, King Logan took to Rogue's collection with his claws. Everything was sliced, smashed and torn to ribbons. The statue of Prince Remy was reduced to pieces.

King Logan left unhappily as his daughter cried amongst the rubble.

* * *

"Awww," Gambit said, wrapping his arms around Rogue. "Don't worry Roguey, I'm here. You don't have to cry."

Rogue rolled her eyes.

* * *

"Rogue - " Kurt said.

"Just go away," Rogue sobbed.

Reluctantly Kurt swam outside the cave. But Rogue was not as along as she imagined. Two eels, Ray and Bobby swam over to her.

* * *

"Ooh we get roles this time," Bobby grinned.

"Yay!" Ray cheered.

* * *

"Aww, look at the poor princess," said Bobby. "She's crying."

"Yes. Her daddy destroyed all her things," Ray replied.

"If only there was something we could do."

"Maybe there is."

"Who are you?" asked Rogue.

"We represent someone who can help you," Bobby told her.

"Who?"

* * *

"The Sea Witch of course!" Kitty shouted gleefully. "Hey, who is playing the Sea Witch?"

**If you wait two seconds you might even find out.**

"I bet it's Mystique," Wanda grumbled.

* * *

"Rogue? Where are you going?" asked Kurt as he saw her swim past alongside Bobby and Ray.

"I'm going to see Ororo," Rogue replied.

"The Sea Witch? Are you crazy?"

* * *

"Storm's the Sea Witch?" Mystique exclaimed.

Storm looked at everyone with an amused expression on her face.

"Well," Wanda considered. "I guess I don't mind losing out to Storm all that much. I mean, she is known as the Weather Witch."

"You're the only witch I want, Scarlet-baby," Pyro said.

"So... Stormy's the other woman huh?" Gambit mused.

"Don't call me that," Storm frowned at him.

Gambit chuckled.

"Doesn't stand a chance against you, Roguey."

Rogue laughed.

* * *

The swim to Ororo's home was long, and when she reached the coral house, Rogue considered turning back - it was fairly creepy. A little reluctantly, Rogue followed Bobby and Ray inside.

"Come in, come in," Ororo greeted.

"Umm, hi," Rogue said.

"Now, let me see. You're here because you have a thing for this prince fellow," Ororo said, as an image of Prince Remy filled a mirror on the wall. "Not that I blame you. He is quite a catch, isn't he?"

* * *

"Yes, yes I am," Gambit heartily agreed. "I rather like this story, Chellerbelle."

**Of course you do. Hehehe.**

"You should always worry when she says stuff like that and in that tone," Rogue said suspiciously.

* * *

"The answer to your problem is simple. The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself."

"You can do that?" Rogue asked.

"Why yes," Ororo replied. "It's what I do. Of course, there is the minor matter of payment..."

"I don't have much - "

"Here's the deal. I will cast a spell that will turn you into a human for three days. Before the sun sets on the third day, you have to make princey-boy fall in love with you. He has to kiss you mind, and not just any kiss. A kiss of true love."

* * *

"Well, that won't be hard," Gambit said. "I'll only need to look at Rogue to fall in love."

"There are just so many things I could say to that..." Rogue mused. "Most of them involve poking fun at you for being a ladies man."

"Sure," Gambit replied. "You're a lady, and I'm your man. In fact, I think I'll give you that true love kiss right now."

"Well," Kitty said as Rogue and Gambit began kissing. "At least she doesn't complain any more."

"It's nice to see she got over her denial," Tabitha giggled.

* * *

"If he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day, you get to stay human permanently. If not, you belong to me, and all I ask in exchange for this once in a lifetime opportunity is your voice."

* * *

"Stormy, you sound like a used car salesman," Gambit mused.

Storm shrugged.

"At least I've had more than one line and haven't relied on my appearance to make up for the rest of it."

"I don't know, Stormy -"

"Stop calling me that -"

"I think Logan's drooling."

"I am not," Logan objected.

"You look good in that black outfit," Gambit nodded.

"Ahem," Rogue coughed.

"Rogue would look hotter though."

* * *

"My voice?" Rogue repeated. "But without my voice, how would I -"

"You'll have your looks," Ororo pointed out, and with a demonstration added: "And don't underestimate the importance of body language."

* * *

"See! He is drooling!" Gambit grinned.

"Logan likes Storm!" Kitty giggled.

"But... but they're old," whispered Amara.

"Yeah... that's kinda gross," added Rahne.

Logan growled and glared at Gambit.

"Aww, but I think they'll make a cute couple," Rogue chuckled. "And just think, when Storm gets mad at him, he'll survive the lightning bolts."

* * *

Rogue thought about the matter seriously, but allowed herself to be talked into it. She took the pen and signed the contact. Well pleased, Ororo got to work. She instructed Rogue to sing and cast the spell to capture her voice. This done, Ororo then cast the spell that would give Rogue legs.

Rogue attempted to swim to the surface, but her legs lacked the power of her tail required for swimming. Instantly, Kurt (who had followed her) swam to her aid and teleported her to the surface.

* * *

"Kurt the Amazing Teleporting Fish to the rescue!" Kurt beamed.

"Yay," Rogue giggled.

* * *

Warren joined them on shore.

"Look at you!" he said. "Y'know there's something different about you. I can't quite put my foot on it right now but I know if I just stand here long enough -"

"She's got legs," Kurt cut in. "She traded her voice to the Sea Witch and got legs. Now she has to make the prince fall in love with her and she's only got three days!"

"Hmm, okay Rogue," Warren said thoughtfully. "If you want to be human the first thing you've got to do is dress like one."

* * *

"Aww, can't I walk in on her naked?" Gambit asked.

"I'm not naked. I'm wearing a shirt," Rogue pointed out.

"More like a bikini top."

"Still not naked."

"Close enough. C'mon I wanna walk in on Rogue mostly naked."

**Sigh.**

* * *

It happened that Prince Remy was walking down the beach when he came upon a most peculiar sight: there was a brown-haired girl with a white streak through her hair wearing nothing but old sail canvas.

"Hey are you okay?" he asked.

Rogue turned to look at him.

"You know... you look a little familiar to me," he said, trying to remember if the girl he'd heard singing to him had a white streak or not. "Have we met?"

Rogue nodded.

"I knew it. What's your name?"

Rogue attempted to say her name but remembered too late that she couldn't speak.

"What? You can't speak?"

Rogue shook her head.

"Oh. You can't have been who I was thinking of then. Look are you okay? What is it? You're hurt? You need help?"

Rogue nodded, and unsteady on her new human legs promptly fell forward into him. Remy caught her neatly.

"Don't worry, I'll look after you."

* * *

"My hero," Rogue teased him.

"You should fall into my arms more often cherie," Gambit nodded.

"What? You're not holding her enough, Gumbo?" Logan asked.

"... No."

* * *

And so Prince Remy took the Princess Rogue back to the palace, where the staff took over and saw that she was washed and given clean clothes and a room. It was all very exciting for her to see all this awesome human stuff and she was fascinated by everything.

That evening she joined Remy and Pete for dinner, and the following morning Prince Remy took her out for a tour of the kingdom. That afternoon, they went out onto a boat onto the lagoon.

"So Warren!" Kurt called. "Has he kissed her yet?"

"Nope," Warren pouted. "You know what they need? Some romantic music. Ahem."

He then proceeded to begin to sing his heart out - very, very badly.

"Wow, someone should find that poor animal and put it out of it's misery," Remy joked.

Rogue grinned.

* * *

"See?" said Kitty. "This is why we need Sebastian."

**Ha! Shows what you know.**

"I think I'm being insulted again," Warren sighed. "First I'm a seagull. Then I'm a seagull with delusions that he can sing."

**Well, at least you're not a tone-deaf songbird. That would really be ironic.**

* * *

"Warren," Kurt hissed at him. "Quiet! You can't sing."

But Warren didn't hear him. Exasperated, Kurt the Amazing Teleporting Fish teleported on top of Warren and knocked him off his perch and back into the water again.

* * *

"Death from above!" Kurt shouted.

**I just love the fact that I've used this three times now, and it only started as a cheap gag I came up with while I was writing.**

* * *

Now that Warren was silenced Rogue and Remy were able to enjoy the existing atmosphere. A cool breeze blew across the lagoon, waved lapped lightly against the boat and as the sun began to dip in the sky Remy looked across to Rogue and admired just how beautiful she looked.

"Y'know, I feel kinda bad not knowing your name," he said. "Maybe I could guess. Is it Anna? No. Well, what about Marie? No that either huh?"

Once again it was Kurt the Amazing Teleporting Fish to the rescue. He teleported to Prince Remy's ear, yelled "Rogue" and dropped back into the water again.

* * *

Everyone looked at each other while they listened to the sound of Chellerbelle cracking up laughing.

**This is the best reoccuring gag ever! I'm laughing so hard I have tears running. Four times!**

"You're very strange, Chellerbelle," Rogue said.

"Well, at least she's amused," Gambit commented.

"Hey Kitty," Kurt said. "I'm playing both Flounder and Sebastian! The fuzzy dude is in the house!"

* * *

"Rogue? Is your name Rogue?" Remy questioned.

Rogue nodded eagerly.

"It an unusual name, but it suits you," he decided.

Remy reached over and touched her hair. Caught up in the moment, he leaned forward to kiss her when abruptly the boat was capsized and into the water they both fell.

"That was mighty fine work there, even if I do say so myself," Ray said.

"I agree. You do say so yourself," Bobby nodded.

In her home, Ororo, who had been watching through use of her magic, cursed.

"That was a close one," she said. "Well, we can't have that. Clearly I must take matters into my own hands, or he'll be kissing her before sunset for sure."

Her decision made, Ororo began another spell.

* * *

"See this is why you should have let me walk in on Rogue naked," Gambit nodded. "I would have kissed her for sure."

"But that would have been a kiss of lust, not of love," Kitty pointed out. "It wouldn't have worked."

* * *

That night, Prince Remy looked out to sea, thinking as usual about the girl who had rescued him. Would he ever find her? He was pulled out of his contemplation by Pete's approach.

"Remy, if I may say," Pete said. "Far better than any dream girl is one of flesh and blood, warm and caring and right before your eyes."

The prince glanced up and saw Rogue on her balcony. He smiled and Pete walked away. Remy looked out to sea on more time, and as he was making his decision to go to Rogue, he heard a voice singing on the beach.

* * *

"Stormy using Roguey's voice to try and seduce me," Gambit grinned at her. "Shame on you. Hey Logan, jealous?"

"How'd you like to be the meat in your next gumbo, Cajun?" Logan glared at him.

* * *

The following morning Warren came flying into Rogue's bedroom.

"Rogue! I just heard the news! Congratulations, we did it!"

Rogue gave him a confused look.

"The whole town's talking about the prince getting married this afternoon," Warren said excitedly.

Rogue stared at him, dressed quickly and ran out only to see Remy with Pete and a blonde woman she didn't recognise.

"Well, Remy, it appears I was mistaken," Pete said. "This dream girl of yours does in fact, exist. Congratulations my dear?"

"Bella Donna," replied the blonde.

* * *

"Bella Donna?" Kitty asked. "I've heard that name before. Who is she?"

Gambit was already looking pale, but now he was even moreso when Bella Donna entered the room. She sauntered over to him with a smirk on her face.

"Hello lover," she said smugly.

"No other woman huh?" Rogue mused.

"Uhh, hi Belle," Gambit said awkwardly.

"Wait, isn't Ororo the other woman?" Kurt asked. "Oh, I get it. This is like all the other two-people-to-play-the-same-character thing you've done before, right?

**Sensing a pattern, are we Kurt?**

"Yes, yes I am."

**Hehehe.**

* * *

The plans were made, the wedding ship was due to depart at sunset. Unhappily, Rogue was left behind when the ship departed the docks, and she sat on the edge and cried.

* * *

"You know Remy," Bella Donna said smoothly as she sat down beside him. "This whole wedding thing is giving me a sense of deja vu."

"I'm sure it is," Gambit replied.

"Never know, there aren't any annoying brothers this time."

"Don't you start getting any ideas," Rogue glared at her.

Bella Donna smiled at her.

"You know, chere, you never get over your first love. And I'm Remy's."

"Yes, but Rogue's my _true_ love," Gambit nodded. "And that's way better."

* * *

Now it happened that Warren was flying by the ship when he happened to go past Bella Donna's cabin. He peered inside to see her dancing about and singing to herself. As she got ready, Bella Donna looked into the mirror and Warren stared in shock as he saw Ororo's reflection look back at her.

* * *

"You know, I've always wondered why Scuttle recognised the Sea Witch," Kitty said. "It's not like he's ever been under water."

**How do you know Ursula never went to the surface?**

"Good point."

* * *

Startled by this revelation, Warren flew as fast as he could back to the docks to share the news with Rogue and Kurt.

"Warren! You need to stop the wedding," Kurt commanded.

"Right!" Warren agreed and flew back again.

"Rogue, jump into the water. I, Kurt the Amazing Teleporting Fish, will teleport you there."

Rogue nodded and did so. She grabbed hold of Kurt and he teleported.

"Uhh," Kurt said. "This might take a few jumps. The ship is kinda far away."

* * *

"Chellerbelle's laughing again," Rogue said.

"Well, it is the fifth time she's gotten to use that gag," Gambit nodded.

"I like it," Kurt grinned.

"Sorry, I was wrong," Bella Donna said. "There is an annoying brother after all."

"Hey I'm not annoying."

"You're annoying me."

* * *

Warren made it back to the ship just as Bella Donna was walking down the aisle. He dived at her and squawked in her ear.

A number of teleports later, Kurt the Amazing Teleporting Fish got Rogue to the ship. She climbed up the side and stepped on board deck just as Warren managed to pull off Bella Donna's necklace. It fell to the ground and smashed. The sound of Rogue's voice filled the air and returned to her.

Immediately the spell on Prince Remy was broken and he stared in amazement at Rogue. He closed the distance between them and held her in his arms.

"It's you," he exclaimed. "It's been you all along."

"I wanted to tell you," Rogue replied.

"Remy, no!" Bella Donna commanded, but her voice was that of her own.

Remy kissed her, but he was seconds too late as the sun set and Rogue's legs collapsed beneath her, turning into a tail once more. Bella Donna laughed and transformed back into Ororo.

"You're too late," she said smugly.

Ororo grabbed Rogue and pulled her overboard.

* * *

"Well, that was a very short appearance," Bella Donna sighed.

"Well, you never appeared in the show at all, so you should be happy you turned up at all," Gambit decided.

"Whatever."

* * *

"Ororo, stop!" King Logan commanded.

By his side was Kurt the Amazing Teleporting Fish. After dropping Rogue off at the ship he teleported all the way to the palace, explained very, very quickly and teleported King Logan back to the ship just in time to see Ororo taking off with Rogue.

"Why, King Logan," Ororo smirked at him. "How are you?"

"Let her go."

"No, sorry can't do. We had a deal. See? Contract. Perfectly legal. Rogue now belongs to me."

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Rogue said. "I didn't know."

"But... I might be willing to make an exchange," Ororo mused. "For someone... better."

* * *

"Rogue called Logan 'Daddy' again," Jamie giggled.

Rogue glared at him.

* * *

Remy climbed down into the rowboat and started rowing away from the ship.

"Remy? What are you doing?" Pete asked.

"I lost her once," he replied. "I'm not going to lose her again."

* * *

"Aww," Kitty sniffed. "I always loved that part."

* * *

King Logan took a deep breath and signed the contract that Ororo offered. The spell that had been shrivelling up Princess Rogue transferred itself to him instead and once he was defeated, Ororo claimed his crown.

"At last it's mine!" she crowed. "Ow!"

She turned and glared at Remy, who had just thrown a harpoon at her, scratching her arm.

"You little brat!"

* * *

"Oooh evil Stormy," Gambit smirked. "Does it turn you on Logan?"

Logan glared at him.

"Eww," Amara and Rahne said together.

"Stop making insinuations about Logan and Storm," Jubilee said, turning up her nose.

Gambit laughed.

* * *

Ororo increased in size along with her wrath as a major battle started, the first casualties of which were her beloved eels, Bobby and Ray.

"Now I am the ruler of all the ocean!" she declared. "The waves obey my every whim."

Infuriated by Remy and Rogue's attempts to stop her, she created a whirlpool and called for the shipwrecks at the bottom of the ocean floor to rise to the surface. While Ororo was distracted by trying to take out Rogue, Remy boarded one of the wrecks and directed it towards the Sea Witch. He jumped overboard as the ship impaled Ororo and she screamed out she she felt both life and magic flow out of her.

With the Sea Witch gone, all her magic was undone. While King Logan was restored to his original self, Rogue helped Remy get back to shore.

"So," he said. "You're a mermaid huh?"

"Yep," Rogue replied.

* * *

"Ooh what gave it away?" Rogue giggled. "The tail maybe?"

"You have to admit, magic would explain why you're so enchanting," Gambit said.

* * *

King Logan and Kurt swam to the surface and watched.

"She really does love him, doesn't she Kurt?"

"Yep," Kurt nodded.

He sighed.

"Well, there's just one problem left."

"What's that?"

"How much I'm going to miss her."

King Logan sent his magic across the water and Rogue and Remy looked down to see her tail being transformed once more into legs. Of course neither of them saw too much of her legs as King Logan was prudent enough to magic a human dress on her.

* * *

"You're lucky you get to have her at all," Logan said. "If this story really happened, there's no way I would have done that."

"Hmm good thing we don't need your blessing, eh Logan?" Gambit grinned at him.

* * *

And thus it was that Princess Rogue and Prince Remy were wed and they lived happily every after.

* * *

"Yay!" Kitty cheered. "I love happy endings."

**I'd like to call for a hand of applause for Kurt the Amazing Teleporting Fish. I got to use that gag six times and I wasn't even looking for ways to do it.**

"I'm just that amazing," said Kurt.

"And so we get married again," Gambit said as he hugged Rogue close.

"Yes, yes we do."

"One day we'll have to get married for real."

"Awww," Kitty said before Rogue could say anything. "Soooo sweeeeet."

"Now see what you've done?" Rogue said. "You've gotten Kitty started."

"Did she ever stop?" Gambit asked.


End file.
